For those of you who had someone tell you some story of a princess and a frog before, get ready for another modern day interpretation of this Brothers Grimm classic by the time you leave me blog.
Majority of the children in Asia who have heard of this froggy tale would probably have been told the version whereby princess kissed an ugly frog and changed it into a handsome prince. And if your storyteller had been particularly generous, the two of them end up marrying and living happily ever after.
Buying it or not, I grew up with that version of the fairytale.
I like froggies. Can't really understand the big Ooo ahhh over kissing one. I'll kiss one any day. They can swim fast, jump far, lick their eyeballs, and most adorable of all, carry this look of utter lostness on their face all the time. It's the wide-eyed "Omg.. . . shit. Ok, stop breathing maybe no one will notice" look.
Like, this kind of face.
So did every girl who shared my kind of childhood grow up thinking they should kiss a frog to be able to marry a prince eventually? Of course not. We went about looking for princes and making porridge out of cute froggies cos one simple fairytale is simply not enough to overcome the obvious and practicality:
If you want a prince, look for a prince. Dafug you wanna find a frog for? Too much time on your hands?
So there I was, like everybody else has been, looking for ma prince and failing over and over again. It got so disheartening at a certain point, I thought Ok, ya, so tis the end. Imma pretty much done with this. The next "prince" that rides by, I'll bonk him on the head with a golf club, rob his crown and sell it for some cash instead.
Then came a prince. (Let's call him Exhibit A.)
He can sing.
Doesn't eat junk food.
Works out.
Is sensitive to a woman's thoughts and feelings.
Dresses well and shops decently.
Holds a good career.
Not gay.
So I went straight for him. Princely Exhibit A fell for me too and we started dating. (Apparently nothing is perfect in this world; Not even princes cos they could be blind, or not very bright with their options when choosing ladies, just like the one I snagged.) Oh well, he's mine mine mine now and nothing is going to stand in our way.
After some vague moments of sticking around each other, we decided to do what couples do...
Kiss.
(wadchu thinking?! eh?!? eh?!)
It is lovely and sparks enlivening. It makes couples in love even more in love. It's got the effects of smoking and drinking at the same time.... once you start, you make a habit of it, and very seldom will you chance upon a strong enough reason to make you consider stopping yourself from doing it.
Before I knew it, we've kissed twelves of a dozen times. And with the imperceptibility of the metamorphotic life cycle of frogs, my princely Exhibit A became a froggy being 2 months into dating.
Instead of looking suave, he grins like a bashful boy.
Gone was the man of authority, and hello to this jumping, kicking thing when he doesn't get things to iron themselves out on their own.
Haven't had him speak to me without sneaking dirty innuendos into our conversation for the longest time. And for majority of our time spent together (which you can be sure is almost all of our waking hours), he would be this servile and mentally torpid creature. Much like the froggy in Lilo & Stitch.
I don't think you would remember that particular frog, so here it is.
Yep. This one.
Waddahell has happened?!
I thought we kiss frogs and they turn into princes! Now that I got to kiss a prince shouldn't he turn into a king?! Looks like a reversion of the laws of fairytale is working itself out around here.
Now that I am stuck with a frog, I would say I am all confused. Kissed a prince and got a frog. Kiss frogs and .... But the only frogs I am allowed to kiss are those swimming in porridge! I took a deep breath and delved into this paradox with all my might, surfacing only for gasps of air that came in a form of food delivered in the rain, wake-up calls every morning, cups of hand-squeezed lemony iced water for the drunk and abusive me, and serenades from my froggy who has never once left my side.
The last time I emerged, froggy was there looking up at me forlornly, promising me that he will do his best to marry me.
I think. . ..
the reason why we have been told as children, to kiss a frog is because that's what is actually best for us. Just so much more rewarding than chasing after rich and handsome princes who, if stayed the suave way you found them, will become too stuck up and concerned about their manliness to want to care for a relationship when the time comes for them to have to swim in muck.
I want to end this story with the same generosity of the storyteller who told me about the princess and frog when I was a child. This scary bitch and her froggy are so on their way to ring some wedding bells.
Kiss a frog correctly and it will become a prince
Not any old prince.
Just your prince.
Not any old prince.
Just your prince.
"i too sticky and like a baby sometimes.
like a retard. like a moron. like a kid."
like a retard. like a moron. like a kid."
Like the man of my dreams.
Thanks for being the way you are. You are one hard frog to find.
